The City of Crumm Mountain, NY     |   home
Should we thank Osama bin Laden for our freedom?   |   Things Get Messy When Wal-Mart Workers Try to Get Organized   |   By Sean Bennett   |   Union-Busting on the Dock of the Bay   |   Rifts On the Right   |   Operation Infantile Justice   |   Making Hay While the Smoke Clears   |   2001: A Chlymidia Mountain Odyssey   |   By Lisa James   |   Chairman Selleck: To dump or not to dump?   |   By Herbert Molzahn   |   Workplace Drug Testing   |   Bertha Vs. the unsung heroes of the Richmondville Road Crew   |   Alright Already   |   Make it out to CASH   |   Quigly Gulch pollution uncovered   |   Stan Grouke for Congress?   |   Defense appropriations bill passes   |   John McCallister: The man who would be Mayor   |   Whats Darlene La pixie up to?   |   Whats happening at the Pomegranate Valley prison?   |   Coup, Interrupted   |   What Is To Be Done with the Democrats   |   Terrorist Threat Eclipses Much Larger Healthcare Crisis   |   The Second International and the Collapse of German Social Democracy   |   The Economic and Political Effects of the Living Wage Movement   |   Rumsfeld's Rathole
Defense appropriations bill passes
Defense Appropriations Bill Passes

By Dean Spowkerly
     In a historic move last Friday, the City legislature of Chlymidia Mountain passed the largest reduction in defense spending ever.  The reduction wasn't quite as much as Mayor Stan Grouke had proposed, 85 percent reduction over the next 2 years, but it was still "more then we could have ever hoped for" according to John Vinton, from Citizens For A Sensible Defense Policy, on the 39 percent decrease in defense spending for fiscal year 2001.  Now that the amount of socialists in the legislature is equal to the amount of conservatives, and the socialists control the executive branch.  They have more power then ever to further their agenda. And now the conservatives will be forced to comprimise on any and all issues.  Says Leg. David Baxter (C-Quinn Hill), chairman of the defense appropriations commission, "In preparing next years budget, we want to make sure that the most controversial bills were voted on first, so as to get them out of the way"  And that seems to be the strategy, as the next appropriations bills to be voted on will be the Education Appropriations bill, and then the Health and Human Services Appropriations bill.  It is unlikely that the same bipartisan comprimise that got the defense appropriations bill passed will be evident during the passage of these bills.   
     At a press statement that Fridy afternoon, after the bill was signed, Leader of the Conservative legislators, Leg. Geoffrey Hatlee (C-Papiloma Valley), refused to make a virtue of nescessity, by calling the concessions that the conservatives made on the defense bill nescessary, to passing one at all.  "I have no interest in portraying the passage of this bill as a bipartisan effort.  The numbers that we eventually settled with, in no way reflect our agenda for providing funding for the defensive forces of Chlymidia Mountain.  This was the farthest we could take the bill from Stan Grouke's proposed 85 percent spending reduction. and while were not satisfied with the bill, we realize that are hands are tied."   "Thats folderol." Said Leg. Harvey Cooper (ILUS-Gonorrhea Heights), Socialist party legislative leader, who earlier applauded the conservatives for being able to comprimise.  "They conceded, and we conceded.  Thats what I consider comprimise.  They could have filibustered the bill, but didn't because they knew they'd be portraying themselves as obstructionist.  And so rather then portraying themselves that way, they decided the right thing to do was to work with us on this.  Thats what the people of Chlymidia Mountain want.  They did vote for Chancellor Stan Grouke, and overwhelmingly against numerous conservative candidates.  And I believe we're here to serve the voting people of Chlymidia Mountain, not the defense contractors who spent thousands of dollars preventing the passage of Stan grouke's defense reduction plan.  I think the conservatives made some incredible strides today in showing that there not totally beholden to those monied defense interests. I'm proud of them, and I think we all should be."   Doug Castleton, executive director of Klein Rollins Weaponry, who sits on the defense appropriations commission, didn't quite share in Mr. Cooper's enthusiasm, and said "I'm quite dismayed that the socialist party would so recklessly act to defund the military capacity of Chlymidia Mountain. Being the boogeyman to the left is quite unpleasant and disheartening, but when they endeavor to jeopardize the safety of Chlymidia Mountains citizens, simply to fund socially corrosive welfare programs, thats just inexcusable.  And it's interesting, how the socialists claim to care so much for the poor, and those who get laid off, yet they don't seem to show any compassion for the thousands that are going to suffer as a direct result of the slashed spending implemented today.  And the fact that the conservative party, acted as willing accomplices is even more distressing."   Leg. Stache Frankeljfitz (ILUS-Herpea),  aggresively denounced those forces on the defense appropriations commission that would "endeavor to undermine the will of the people of Chlymidia Mountain, who have come out in strong numbers to demonstrate in favor of these defense spending cuts." "Quite frankly, they're dismayed about throwing away all that money they gave to the conservatives to block this legislation.  And you know, call me uncompassionate, but my heart doesn't quite bleed for greedy CEO's of arms manufacturing corporations, who have been defrauding Chlymidia Mountain for ten years with shady defense contracts.  Today we were able to move in the right direction to putting an end to that. And I applaud anyone and everyone whose effort made that possible.  Regardless of what side of the aisle they happen to be on."  
     The political ramifications of the passage of this bill, will likely effect the conservatives more then they will the socialists, and quite negatively too, not only will they lose a great deal of their financial backing from defense contracters who feel betrayed, but also they are going to look weak, for not being able to hold their ground against the socialists.  This will make it hard to find conservative voters enthusiastic about voting conservative come January.  Perhaps thats why The conservatives are eager to pass these controversial appropriations bills as soon as possible, so that they won't be fresh in the minds of the voters. The socialists in the legislature might have appluaded the conservatives for their bipartisan, comprising spirit, but they know just as well as anybody that nothing good can come of this for them.  As Chancellor Stan Grouke, once said.  "It's only a matter of time before the entire conservative movement just collapses.  No movement, mired by such tremendous corruption and graft, and built on a foundation of such lies and hypocrisy can sustain itself for long."  Well, to any observer of Chlymidia Mountain politics, the foundation upon which the Conservative party stands, is beginning to show signs of deterioration.