John McCallister: The man who would be Mayor

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John McCallister: The man who would be Mayor, but might have to settle for being re-elected back to the City Legislature

By Gerard Poole

When the Conservative party's candidate for Chancellor, John McCallister gave up his seat on the Chlymidia Mountain City Legislature, a seat which he had held for six years, since being elected in 1994, to try his hand at ousting the enormously popular socialist incumbent Chancellor Stan Grouke, he must have had a sound understanding of his chances at actually defeating the Chancellor, or more accurately his lack thereof. So then why did the highly respected city legislator forsake his post to run for a higher office he knew he didn't have a chance at winning? Well, a number of possibilities might be the answer to this question. Perhaps McCallister genuinely thought he had a chance of unseating Stan grouke, however given the tremendous popularity of Grouke, the first Chancellor of Chlymidia Mountain to be elected to a second term, describing an ambition such as that as optimistic would be a colossal understatement. Perhaps McCallister was planning on retiring this year and decided to go out with a bang. But then again who would want to end their career with a great big defeat? Or maybe, and this is probably the most believable possibility, maybe he was just taking a dive for a party that knew nominating anyone else to challenge Grouke, would have been ruinous, resulting in a landslide, far greater then McCallister's loss, which would have given the impression that the Conservative Party was on it's last legs. Perhaps McCallister is going to be highly rewarded for his self sacrifice with a lucrative post in the upper echelon of the Conservative Party politburo. Or, if John McCallister prefers to attempt re-election to the City Legislature. Theres a new seat opening up in Chlymidia Mountain. And growing speculation has the Chlymidia Mountain political punditariat inclined to believe that McCallister is going to opt towards re-election. And he did tell a reporter at his concession speech last January that "we haven't heard the last of him" Whether or not we can interpret that to mean he's going to seek re-election to the City Legislature, is open to interpretation. But we can be faithful that if McCallister does choose to run for the Chlymidia Mountain seat, he'll have the total, unyielding support of every nut and bolt, rank and file of the Conservative Party.

In an interview with reporter, Conservative Party Chairman Ray Selleck told us that "the party is indebted to Legislator McCallister. Theres no question that we'll enthusiastically throw our full, unwavering support behind what ever he chooses to do." According to right wing political pundit Steven Kenyon, who covers local politics for the Chlymidia Mountain Tribune, and also appears from time to time as a political analyst on the television show Close Encounters, John McCallister must return to the legislature. "Quite frankly" says Kenyon, "It would be unfair of him to deprive us of his governing presence, especially now that we've got these wacky, flaky, kooks Woody Valey, and Gertrude Silvers in the legislature." Concurring with that basic sentiment, Byron Slaughter, the Chlymidia Mountain conservative media magnate say's "The conservative movement in Chlymidia Mountains needs him more then ever before. He's a man that possesses an intelligence, and an ability to articulate conservative causes, in a way that few can. He's a political figure whose loss would be devastating to the Conservative movement, and Chlymidia Mountain altogether." Not everyone agrees, far from it, in fact. John McCallister, is a man who has amassed a collection of enemies, that equal, and sometimes even rivals his collection of friends and admirers. Alexander Brunewit, executive director of The Chlymidia Mountain Human Rights and Social Justice Center, is someone would fall in the former category. According to whom, "John McCallister is one of the most unsavory, unethical, and utterly corrupt men in Chlymidia Mountain politics whose ability to sleep at night isn't half as perplexing as his ability to get up in the morning without being thrown in prison." Legislator Harvey Cooper (ILUS-Gonorrhea Heights), is someone who believes the socialists were more pleased about John McCallisters candidacy than the conservatives were. "The fact that John McCallister, a man to whom the definition of the word integrity is unknown, was the only viable candidate the Conservatives could scrounge up, is quite telling of the declivitous trajectory the Conservative party currently finds themselves on." Words such as those might be a twisting dagger in the Conservative Party armor, but they wouldn't let you know it. Hours after Leg. Cooper made that statement, Conservative Party chairman Ray Selleck, fired back, "Well, the socialists lost far more elections in the past than we have, and they've been able to avoid a declivitous trajectory, so I'm not too worried about that, but hey, the Chlymidia Mountain people did elect Stan Grouke, and the other socialists so maybe it's all of us, who are on a declivitous trajectory." At that, Harvey Cooper, warned that "insulting the intelligence of the Chlymidia Mountain people, wasn't going to improve their PR problems." True to form, Chlymidia Mountain politics is rife with confrontation and verbal fisticuffs. Don't blink, lest you miss something.

Despite the Conservative party's assurances of unwavering support backing up McCallister in whatever he aspires to do politically, being elected to the new legislative seat will be far from an automatic thing. A shoe-in it will not be. Although you would think, that given the circumstances a legislator who has held a seat for six years, but left to seek higher office, would be welcomed back by voters with open arms. As of now, that doesn't seem to be the case. The socialists already have seemed to rally behind a strong nominee for that seat. Long time Chlymidia Mountain environmental activist Terrence Sloan. For years Sloan has been an outspoken advocate of many leftist causes. For years he has worked with Barbara Lindesmith, and the Chlymidia Mountain Environmental coalition. And has formed several organizations dealing with social and cultural issues such as Let Them Pray, a campaign that defends peoples religious liberties, and Project Challenge, a campaign that opposes the religious right by contradicting conventional political and moral standards through intelligent debate and confrontation. Sloan's penchant for hard confrontational debate, will without doubt give McCallister a major run for his money during debates. "I've long desired the opportunity to take part in a legitimate debate with a heavyweight conservative like McCallister, to put him in a position where he has to answer to rationality, decency, and cold, hard fact." It looks as though Terry Sloan might just get what he always wanted. "If McCallister does decide to run" says Ray Selleck, "he will be up against a formidable opponent. But that will be nothing new to McCallister." No, it certainly won't, McCallister has never had an easy ride when running for office. Starting in 1994 when he first was elected to the city legislature, winning an upset victory against extremely popular Social Democrat incumbent Scott Bennett. That triumph defied conventional wisdom. Then in 1997, he faced an ambitious challenge from Chlymidia Mountain District Prosecutor Gene Lurrow. Who was recently exonerated of charges of corruption stemming back from 1995 following the confession of former officials under former Chancellor Walling that charges against Lurrow were fabricated to justify replacing him with a conservative prosecutor. McCallister emerged victorious from that race. Of course he didn't emerge quite that way from his latest bid for Chancellor, but he's still better for it, according to many people in the Conservative party. Just how better for it, remains to be seen in how well McCallister fares against Terrence Sloan, if and when McCallister decides to run.

When will we know for sure if McCallister's going to run? Well, since the mere speculation that he will run for the seat is abound, all other potential candidates have said they will fully yield to McCallister, if he decides to run, this means that he won't really have to announce his candidacy until early summer of this year. Which allows for plenty of time for contemplation. Until then we can only rely on our own extrapolations and conjecture as to McCallister's personal agenda. And mine is, that John McCallister, will undoubtedly seek to be re-elected to the city legislature. From years of personal and political analysis of John McCallister. I have learned many things about him. And one of those things is that McCallister craves power and attention. In my opinion McCallister couldn't stand being without power. He's addicted to it. It's a necessity of life which he can't live without. So of course he's going to move to get it. And I think he'll announce his candidacy even before June. I don't really think there'll be any contemplation at all. Are his chances at winning positive? Sure, right now it looks like he could definitely reclaim his position, that's not to say Terrence Sloan is going to campaign lying down. Because he's not. Still McCallister has a lot owed to him from his own party, and well, he'll just have to settle for wherever that get's him.